Notes

I have started several times arabic language. but never reached the level I needed, it was always that something happened, be it I had to leave that area of Alex or maybe I had to leave Kuwait and so and so. Therefore I studied at home and different kinds of teachings: Iraki, Egyptian, Classic arabic... and of course the last one always thanks to the Qur'an. So I had to practice with my friends in the middle east. Each day it was better and eventually I was able to make myself be understood. But I need to go deeper and not just learn. Because one day I want to get the diploma spanish -arabic. Maybe at the University of Alicante or la Complutense de Madrid. Anyhow... this is now.... and I am happy to have found a place where I can learn from scratch and then follow up until I feel I am really learning something. It was by chance that I met this group and the truth, I don't regret it. They go slowly but very sure about what they are doing. Curso de Lengua Arabeis the name of this group. also I have signed for another group. YOu know, I am not someone who likes "groups" or belonging to "groups" etc. I prefer to learn freely and tht's why I signed up for this GROUP, cause now it's Ramadan and I need help from the Imams and people who know what they do. I like especially the "suplicas" during the night, every day there is one. I am going to read it tonight. Also, this is very important , I had to think about when I am going to memorize something from the qur'an. It's always the same suras that I say and this is not being correct, I have to develp my memory and pursue my path. So I chose the first hadith and also the sura ya sin, although it's difficult. I want to memorize as much as i can. but the most important is to feel it rather than memorizing it. When I feel what I do, the cold-hot-cold-hot feelings after a sound or a word read or anything related with the sacred book... I feel I am alive and thankfu,l forever thankful

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Tanger

Yesterday two people that my brother met (I don't know how and where) told him that they were from Tanger and that they were fasting. My brother told them then that I am muslim and according to my brother they made a big face of surprise. They just didn't believe a woman from spain could convert (I wonder why) and instantly they started asking him questions about me: do I drink alcohol? , do I go to parties and discos? My God.... is this the only thing they can ask about??? They ask things as if I am already in the middle of a Haram, like hey, if you are muslim you cant drink or go dancing. But look, I haven't changed and I am not an alcohol drinker, nor I was before, I also don't go to discos now because I don't like it. What would you do if you were not muslim? this is my question. Or simply: do you restrict yourself from drinking because and only because you are muslim? if you werent you would spend the afternoons at the coffee playing dominoes and drinking until night?? Would you spend your weekends at the disco, maybe trying some maria? What happens then when all you say that is haram is not to me just because I don't practice it? And why you didn't ask how I feel being muslim? instead it's like you are starting to say this is sin, this is sin... and I am soooo sorry... Islam is not this at all. And this is why I embraced Islam. And people that speak this way are the people who make westerners give up regarding all of us. Why? Because there is a lot of words known by heart and little real culture, because people can't think straight when they are still wearing the reminiscences of their own mistakes that they mixed with Islam, Yes, just to continue with the same mistakes. Never Islam said many of the things you say. And never Islam wanted to be a long series of Orders. This, is for people like you, who can't be strong enough. This is why, my dear, Islam varies from country to country. And this is why you don't understand the meaning of no drink alcohol or no go to discos. It means: don't let evil enter in your heart through your body, don't even let it happen. Most of people can't stop it. Don't go to places that can be of negative influence for you. So... in Kuwait I went with my friends to a disco and it was WONDERFUL and we had a good time. In Alex as well (I even danced flamenco) But why? Do you know yourself? Do you know your limits? Do you have to put limits to yourself? When you know yourself, God trusts you more as well. I know how I am and what I am not going to do, just because I don't like it and never because someone says so. This is why Islam is so free to me, I don't have to make any effort to stop negative things happen to me, weakness etc. It is the same in everywhere, the most puritan country is as well the most avid of perverted things, the most extreme in the so called weakness. Some people are born muslims but others become muslims. And some are muslims without even knowing that they are.

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